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Twin flames, soul mates and healing the original wound

By:Rachel Goodwin
Date: Wed,28 Dec 2011
Submitter:Rachel Goodwin

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I've read different things about soul mates, twin flames/ twin souls, and there are many different opinions out there about what they are and the purpose they play in our life.

So like everyone else, I've got my 'own take', on what they are and what their purpose is, based on my own experiences and the guidance I've been given by my own spirit guide/ mentor.

I'm a clairvoyant healer and channel, and work with an ascended master guide called Sarah.

Sarah is an ascended master for the age of Aquarius, and is extremely helpful to call on when working with healing around twin flames/ soul mates.

You can find out more about Sarah here

This is an article for people who have found their relationship with their twin flame or soul mate to be an exceptionally painful one! And for those of you left wondering, 'what the hell happened there', after it all seemed so promising!!

I tend to think of a twin flame or soul mate as someone who you feel a deep soul connection to. It's as if, when you are physically present with this person, your soul lights up twice as bright, just from them being there. Often, this can't be explained from within your ego's experience, but somehow, it's just the way it is.

Often, at the beginning of these relationships, there is an experience of bliss. You are absolutely sure you have found 'the one', and cannot deny the depth and breadth of your feeling for this person. It is a very pure love that you experience with every part of your being. You feel as if you have known this person all your life and can have a strange sense that you have known this person before.

Then as the relationship goes on, difficulties start to creep in, and issues start to rise up between you.
Perhaps your beloved doesn't respond to commitment in the way you feel they should, or in some way you feel let down and as if they don't want you. Maybe you have problems becoming part of their family or maybe you just can't seem to agree on things.
It might be very small things that occur on the outside, and to an outsider looking in, they might consider these events as inconsequential, but to you, they feel huge, and you suffer feelings of abandonment and loss very easily.

It is a very painful place to be in!

You might try and deal with this, by trying to control the behaviour of your beloved, ie, try and convince your other half, that whatever it is that they do that makes you feel like that – they should stop it!!

However this usually leads to more arguing and fighting and more of the original feeling of whatever it is you were trying to avoid in the first place!!

So how is it then, that something that starts of so beautifully, and is evidently so spiritual, transforms into such difficulty?

If you were to see the connection between the two of you with your spirit eye, you would see a beautiful divine connection of sparkling spiritual light.

So how is it that you experience such darkness between the two of you?
How is it that they 'make you' feel so bad?

I did some sacred dancing in Copenhagen once in the wintertime. It was a very dark time of year, just before Christmas, and one evening we did the most beautiful dance with nightlights, holding the tiny flames in the palms of our hands.

We danced together in a circle, and in one part of the dance, we would step towards the center, lifting our little flame up towards God/ the Divine.

I was having a difficult and dark winter in more ways than one, and my heart was heavy as I did the dance, solemnly appreciating it's beauty and hoping it would lift me a little out of despair.

As I danced towards the center, I saw that when we move towards God, the brightness of Gods light (or if you like, the loudness of God's sonic boom!!) naturally resonates and vibrates all that is within us that is not of God (our darkness).

The effect of this, is that when we move closer to God, our initial experience is of the darkness which rises up within us.
So it seems to us that we are in a dark place; but if we were to see objectively, we would see that we are actually closer to God than we were (but it just doesn't feel like that).

However, if we stay with and work and process the darkness, and integrate it into ourselves, (another specialty of the ascended master Sarah's), so that dark and light become one, then we become aware of having lifted ourselves vibrationally closer to God.

Then we know (in that innate knowing way, where we just know something in every part of us) we are closer to God/ the Divine.

And this is how it is with our twin flames/ soul mates.

Being with them, is a little like being with God here on the material plane!

Our souls literally do light up together; the two souls light up in reaction to each other, becoming brighter than they were before. We can feel this increased light of our soul, and it is a wonderfully divine feeling.
Then the light (or sonic boom) that our souls create when we are together, sympathetically and naturally brings up our darkness.
All that has been hidden into the dark, until we're ready to heal it. (And of course, in our journey home, back to ourselves, all our wounds will eventually have to be healed.)

But the biggest point here to notice is that it is your darkness coming up.
We all have it.

It's why we're here.
To learn how to heal ourselves - and we are all wounded.

Often at this point where we meet our soul mates/ twin flames, (and they bring up such agonisingly difficult stuff for us) we are ready to start healing the 'original wound' - which stems from our original separation from God. You can read more about the original wound here

And so this is the real 'biggy' here'.

It's your darkness you feel in relation to your beloved.
Everything that your twin flame/ soul mate 'causes' you to feel, is actually inside you.
No-one can make you feel anything that you isn't inside you already!

So every time your twin flame/ soul mate activates one of those painful episodes with you by something that they do, take good note of what comes up for you, because whatever comes up for you, is precisely what you need to be focusing on healing inside yourself.
It's your stuff, and you are ultimately the only one that can heal it.

So the good news is that with these types of relationships, all the pain, difficulty and trauma that comes up, is the best healing opportunity you will probably ever have in your life. So that you can heal what needs healing inside yourself, and become much much closer to God (which means being an enlightened being).

The bad news is, that these relationships will quite likely, never be easy ones!

However, if you can accept the difficulties that are coming up between you as being your own stuff that you need to heal, then these relationships can also be potentially the most rewarding of your life!

Imagine that you have the potential to heal all the difficulties that are coming up.

And imagine if you can agree between the two of you, to love and support each other through all of your difficulties, what kind of amazing relationship you will be creating, containing all of that divine soul light.

If however you have decided to separate, then in the meanwhile, work with all the feelings, patterns and difficulties that came up for you.
Journal and remember what was really difficult for you, and see if you can go a little deeper into it, and find out what the emotions were for you, and also what beliefs were behind those emotions.

If you decide to stay in the relationship, see if you can get yourself some support.

Relationships of this intensity and of this incredible healing potential, are very new, and belong to the age of Aquarius which we are just moving into.
Which means that these types of relationship are evolutionary and are just being 'birthed'.

Which is why more and more people now are meeting their soul mate or twin flame/ soul, (and they will tell you that it feels nothing like any other relationship they have ever had.)

It's been planned to happen that way on an evolutionary scale, so we are very much learning 'on the job' as it were, how to try and manage these relationships, and the painful lessons that many of us are learning now, will put those who are to follow in good stead.

So don't try to struggle on, on your own!

Be realistic about how challenging this is, but also how much you value your relationship and your partner, and have a serious think between the two of you about what healing/ therapeutic modalities work well for you, and find yourself someone who can regularly work with you to support you in your relationship, whether it's either separately or together.

Whether you are staying physically in relationship with your soul mate/ twin flame, or have separated from them, you can call on the ascended master Sarah to work with you, she will assist you on your path of healing. (and you can see more about her, and the work I do at

Separation from a twin soul/ soul mate, can be a most incredibly painful experience, and again one that deserves recognition and support for just how difficult this can be.

Being able to transform it into a healing journey can be a great gift.

I've experienced healing journeys of these kinds.
Sarah helped me hugely, and without her spiritual support and guidance, I don't think I could have made it through in one piece.
As it is, I have healed in unbelievable ways.

In the healing sessions I do for other people with Sarah, the work always centers around finding your own divinity and drawing the healing from there.

Sarah is a catalyst which shows you your own way home to yourSelf, traveling on your own healing path; therefore she can be added along to any belief or existing spirituality, as she simply helps you become more of who you already are.

Just because we meet a twin flame, doesn't mean that we have failed if we aren't able to have that relationship in this lifetime.

Maybe it will happen, maybe it won't.

What is really important is the healing we are able to undertake, becoming ever more whole in ourselves.

The more whole we become, the more love we are able to let into our lives; the more love and joy we are able to have.

However it turns out for you, let your experience of your twin flame/ soul mate be a healing one, drawing out every last inch of goodness for yourself in that divine healing.

And if you resonate with Sarah, call on her to work with you.
She's there for you, and will be for anyone who calls on her.

May blessings pour down upon you each and every day of your life.
Rachel Goodwin.

Rachel Goodwin is a clairvoyant healer and channel who works with the ascended master Sarah, and offers 1:1 healing telephone/ skype sessions working with healing around your twin flame/ soul mate, and also on-line courses. Each month Rachel offers a free Sarah blessing service.
She also offers hypnotherapy and healing sessions in the UK.
To find out more and to sign up for her newsletter go to

You can also read more about twin flames at
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Rachel said:

I have been going good for the past few months. It’s only been the last two days that I got angry and upset about everything again. Whenever I try to move on with my life, I feel I’m doing the wrong thing and should wait for my twinflame. But it’s getting harder and harder because time and life is passing me by and I’m still living at home in the place I grew up because I don’t want to let go of the memory of my twinflame. I feel stuck because so much of my heart is with my twinflame, I think about him, long for him to come back, have dreams about him, get the signs. I can’t predict what will happen, what the outcome will be or if I should be waiting for him? I just know that I want him back. He has a girlfriend and I have sorted out my feelings of intense jealously over his relationship with her. But now I feel stupid for holding on to him when he has always had a girlfriend, I should be moving on by now. I get angry because to me the experience of meeting my twinflame was life changing and it seems that he doesn’t understand it or have the courage to follow his heart. I have grown spirituality and had my awakening when I first looked into his eyes, I know he felt a similar way, he did ask me to be his girlfriend but he is younger than me and I wanted him to be ready, so I said we should be friends, he ended up moving on with someone else. I would never hold on to a guy for this long but with my twinflame it’s like I don’t have a choice. I do get angry with myself, with my twinflame and with the experience, but I’m always trying to understand it, accept it and not blame anyone. It’s just I want to move on with my life, I’m 26 years old and I want a life, a family, a husband, a successful career. I wish my twinflame knew that I would drop everything in my life to be with him. It’s been two years I have been apart from him and I think about him every day; I know this is not normal. What should I do?
Sat,03 Nov 2012,02:49:26 GMT

Heather said:

Thank you for your guidance and I have certainly now called upon Sarah to help me. I was with my twin flame for nearly 35 years when he left and the last year has been the most challenging of my life. I understand it's a huge learning curve of learning to love myself fully and become whole, just as he is doing.
Much gratitude
love and light
Fri,30 Dec 2011,12:29:36 GMT
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