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Cupids Bow another chance to look at relationships 5 years on a valentines day special
Mon,13 Feb 2017
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Cupids Bow. Dealing with feelings and relationships 5 years on Valentines’ Special.
This post has been updated as again I originally wrote it 5 years ago. Relationships I believe for everyone have become harder and exportations have for some become lower. I will say it is better to be alone and secure that you have your own front door and that you know your bills are paid and your kids are safe. I do want everyone to have the chance at love but not at the cost of your family and loved ones.
Last month Janus was giving us the chance to look at our past. Take out of it the things that made us feel happy. Then shut the door, working thus allowing us to work toward the present and eventually the future, we want rather than the fears and worries of old hurts which we then give too much attention. (This reflection has come to past due to ego and the inner child.)
To define this statement first we must and I say must to take charge of our own destiny. However, perhaps it could be better to agree to our own inner child and our aggravating friend ego. To let ourselves to take charge of what we want. Not what our friends think we want or our loved one and family. Next what steps we are prepared to take to follow our actions through. This is sounding more like recipe yet with all recipes the best ones are the tried and tested along with our own personal add on’s or take offs.
So on to create the perfect lover, friend, partner, companion to create someone for you and me. Love is often blind is has no colour gender or even reason. You can’t help who you love but at least you can help yourselves falling for the wrong person however lovely they look talk, smile or even wiggle.
With the onset of Valentine’s day we all feel and desire, no need to be wanted yet first and foremost you should and need to love yourself and consider yourself a worthy subject, for without it the battle is surely lost and then the war on chocolate wins along with self-loathing loneliness and failure beings.
There are many strings Cupids Bow yet today I am empowering those of you to either take a step back and look who your waking up next too and for some they will say it’s the dog again it could be a real dog the slobbery kind that smell or even worse the real thing. For you we have to look at different ways of sorting out what you have got and what you want need or can do or not do without. I haven’t forgotten you and I will address you another time if I don’t get to pass on some ideas today. There are only so many words in a blog they will let you have and to be fair this saga could turn into a book. However hold the faith and I will in time give you some ideas for you also.
As they say in a very old song. “If you start, at the very beginning, a very, good place, to start”. There are those of us that appear to have it all looks, money, style, friends and some daft sod that falls over just because a pretty face smiled in their direction. We all like a good girly flick yet the nearest in real life scenario the closest realistic relationship built on looks and weight is Shrek and Fiona. Otherwise about five percent of movies aimed at real people only ever portray us as ugly spotty nerds or fat chubby desperate losers who yes do have feeling yet like in Bridesmaids if we are really honest don’t want to be portrayed as the lost cause.
Even in families our sibling, always seem to have it all. They haven’t if the truth be told it just our frame of mind. Why because when one thing goes wrong it all seems to go wrong and that’s the spiral downwards. Ok let pull this back on track. In the real world you are going to kiss more frog than princes that’s a fact. You will be taken in by a pretty face a cheeky grin and a good banter of flirting.
Now the confusion happens is in when we mistake flirting for love and commitment.
sunset dreams are
made of this
The expectation in having cake and eating it results in disappointment and self-loathing. The trick is to try and have fun, conversation, mutual interest and sing off the same song sheet rather than. Meeting someone and thinking they tick all the boxes only to find they are mean boring and self-centred.
Selection is not based on looks alone neither should you give your entire desert away on the first meal. Like I was once told by a friend of mine that if she went anywhere with someone and they paid for a few drinks she supplied the afters. Why because that was what was expected. NO only if you’re daft enough to think you should or you have such little self worth they may have brought a drink but not the pub.
Don’t rush to tell them your life history complain about the ex or tell them how great your best mate is. If at all possible try and find out as much about them as possible listen rather than gab. You will find more out than you realise.
If you have children don’t see the next partner as Daddy more often than not they are bigger kids attached more to mum apron strings and are looking just for free bed for the night and breakfast.
Do they make you laugh, are they self-centred mean, or spend more time texting or watching the football. Again watch their body language the eyes give it away every time and if they can’t look you in the eye you know you’re got a lost cause.
If he is hunk why he single is perhaps again a wolf in sheep’s clothing most of the pretty ones are players looks often lead to vanity just as many often pretty girls are also shallow and mean. Take a look around in the place you live very few have the perfect partner or the perfect figure in the real world most of us have lumps bumps and scars the trick is not to hide behind them neither is it to allow ourselves to let others use and abuse you.
Don’t be some available don’t give up other arrangement and drop everything just because they can fit you in. Chance is that you are just being fitted in. Remember some just get lucky because they catch you UN aware. Also don’t overdo the perfume the drink or stuff your face past wind or any other habit you might let slip. Also watch the swearing if it comes out as a matter of fact and you have kids and little Johnnie starts using the F word you going only to have other problems.
Self-preservation no matter how much you may like or don’t like someone don’t gush play it cool not frozen or that again goes too far the other way. Balance is what is needed
Fun can be had just being with someone you don’t need to get drunk or end up in bed on the first date as they say in Willy Wonka ‘save some for later’.
There are others but for now I will leave you not desert you there is more to come on this subject but for now read and use wisely and the start of Cupid Bow will bring excitement and commitment into your lives along with the confidence to find Mr Ok who could be Mr Right.
Is Romance any easier? Heck No! With everyone’s personal information shared every minute of the day with social media. The art of mystery in the positive sense has almost disappeared. It seems that relationships have to be exposed to everyone so that they can either get jealous or comment on what you should do or don’t do. Neither party gets the chance to have the hint of surprise which makes it so difficult for the real Cupid Bow to attract the right person the ok person.
It’s quite simple before you meet someone that you’re attracted too. Just think if I can see his history in full view he can see mine. Already he knows your weak areas and you know his. Get to know him first before anyone else can put you off or take him off.
Keep the faith keep ego at bay. Give your inner child love and if she craves ice-cream or chocolate let her have it. Happy Valentine’s Day 2017 by Annielise Stonex
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